How to tie a bow tie

We know what you might be thinking: Another guide to how to tie a bow tie? Aren’t there enough of those online already? There are indeed quite a few out there, but good luck finding one that actually helps you, you know, learn how to tie a bow tie.

Which is unfortunate, because tying a bow tie is the kind of skill that when you need, you really need. You’re running late, your girlfriend is yelling at you to hurry up, and you're looking for smart, useful advice, not some guy in a clown suit trying to go viral on YouTube. Enter Park & Bond, and the single most effective guide to how to tie a bow tie in the history of the Internet. Ever.

What makes it so good? Three things: Clear instruction, great illustrations, and—best of all—a PDF specifically designed to be printed and taped to your mirror. Yep, we even reversed the illustrations.

Time to tie one on.

Step 1. Start with the tie draped around your neck, underneath your collar, with the side on your right two inches longer. Cross the longer side over the shorter side so they intersect directly below your collar button.

Step 2. Flip the longer side, which should now be in your left hand, back and up through the gap between your tie and your collar, creating a simple overhand knot. Tighten the knot until you have just barely enough room to maneuver—and, you know, breathe—then hold the longer side up and out of the way while you turn your focus to the shorter side.

Step 3. Grasp the end of the shorter side with your right hand and push it up towards your collar so that the excess fabric loops out to the left, essentially folding over itself. That loop will become the front of your bow tie, so take care to keep it centered over your top collar button.

Step 4. With the loop now formed, grab the other half of the tie that’s been waiting in the wings, and lay it down over the top of the burgeoning bow.

Step 5. This is the crucial point when you need to get everything squared up. Hold the loop steady, and make sure the other half of the tie crosses directly over the middle. It's going to serve as the focal point of your bow, so be certain it's in the right place.

Step 6. Using your index finger to keep things centered, secure the partially formed bow with your right hand. Tug it away from your collar slightly, exposing a small hole of space behind the knot. Then pinch the free end of the tie between the thumb and forefinger of your left hand, marking a spot that's about half of the way up from its bottom edge, and start to push it back towards the bow.

Step 7. Continue to fold the fabric backwards at that halfway spot, forming a loop as you use your forefinger to push through the hole behind the knot.

Step 8. Now use your left hand to secure the bow while you pull the new loop through to the other side with your right. QUOTE--At this point your fate, in bow tie terms at least, is pretty much sealed. If the basic shape doesn’t look right, you’ll have to start over from scratch—no amount of twisting, tightening, and cursing is going to fix matters.

Step 9. At this point your fate, in bow tie terms at least, is pretty much sealed. If the basic shape doesn’t look right, you’ll have to start over from scratch—no amount of twisting, tightening, and cursing is going to fix matters. If, on the other hand, you like what you see, tighten the bow tie by tugging outward on its loops. Pulling gently on either loose end will help you adjust any minor size discrepancy between the loops themselves.

Step 10. Congratulations, you are now wearing a bow tie you actually tied yourself. Feel free to milk it for all it’s worth.